Coming Home to Myself

i'm goin crazy! i miss my boyfriend like a hell lot... haiz..

i dun care alrdy ah... after all this is MY blog.

haiz.. its so complicated.. he cant msg me or contact me in any way at all.so i spent my day procrastinating wat time i shud wake up

but wells.. i knew i could pull thru this day. i have gone thru this before anyway... but it still sucks not knowing anything... fortunately i msged nad yesterday night. so fun! i love nad. she's my bestest best fren and no one can take her away from me.. heh. not even dinie. hahah. jus kidding. u can take some of her but not all of her k? k enough i'm crapping.

so back to him. i almost went bonkers ah. so i went to study wit nrmh and fahimah... thos it wasnt very fruitful, at least i didnt have to spend my time alone.. den followed my parents to my uncle's place. my fatehr wanted to karaoke. so ya i went cos i was hungry act.. but upon reaching there was asked to karaoke... so ya i started. felt so relieved when i was singing. so i didnt stop all the way till 2000. so fun! i wanna do it again. heh.

den had to go home alrdy cos my father working.once i reached home. my mood went back to its depressed mode. haiz. depressing ah. den i was like fiddling wit my notes. trying to force some words and explanations into my brain but wells.... resistance very very high... but still trying. i love him so much.

i hope u read my blog.i miss u soo much

  my sisters have issues. all i wanted to do was help them figure out their new camera and woaahhh....

this was wat happened...

me: tgk camera.

without looking at me and acting like she was real busy wit d stuffs(padahal jus fiddling) an passed me d camera half-heartedly..  oh okie finnnneee..

me: tgk buku dier..

cos i wanted to see d first few instructions.

min: syamin nak bace la!

without looking at me and talking to me like a freaking spoilt brat who thinks tat everybody wanna get wat she has. like wateva la eh.you didnt even have to do much for it okie.

and ohhh.... i on the other hand gets to be asked to masak the air and do all the other dirty job. like cutting the chicken and blending wateva.. finee! be that wayyy..

and dun u dare get ur filthy bratty hands on my laptop okie. spoilt bratsss!

p.s. nad tell me when u can go out.tml can?? before training??yes?no?get back to me...

   "oh my god!!! i'm super happy for you!"

   "oh okie...."

   "you got top 10 la!! gosh i'm so proud of you!!"

   "ohkiee..."

   "errr.. kieee.. i'm just so so happy for you!!"

haha. orite so i did my chem pjc paper this morning and gosh it was uber hard la... and ms cheong said tat it was the easiest prelim paper. i'm like super dead la... hahhaha

okie i dunno why i'm still laughing... hmmms.i'ma  confused kid.ya ya

so my parents jus bought a new television. and its super super nice and BIG. gosh i feeli like i'm living in a cinema now. cos its super wide and i have the urge to watch some movies now... hehe. well actuallie i always have the urge to watch movies. muahahaha.

   btw i think my blog is a stress reliever especially for muggers.

okie enough. i shud start studying.. bye

   "you want to know who i like??"

   "yes la..i thought we r frens??must share our secrets rite?"

   "oh rite... i'll give you a hint..."

   "what what?? what is the hint?"

   "the girl i like has pe during your pe period too..."

i am quite pleased with how my life is going right now... altho some point of time i tend to think of nad and shud who r currently in UK... most probably having fun. i hope they are having fun and the teachers are not forcing them to do too many of those reviews, reflections etc etc. cos tat will be super sickening. hah

oh wells.. however... my revision is not going pretty smoothly... there has been a lot of slacking. i hope allah will insert some more motivation in my veins or something so tat i will be more motivated to study? duh. haiz

okie enough for tonight.. i shall go and sleep for tml is another studying day. goodbye and good night!

oh wells.. forget all about the last post.

wells... takziah nad. cheer up. life goes on.

hmmms

i dun feel too well now. kinda err. i dunno blur, confused, irritated. anywhere along that line. hmmms. revision not going pretty well cos i'm very mch stuck with the current topics and well.. i dun quite understand the recent topics. and it doesnt help that the teachers are all rushing to finish everything now. hmmms

so we have only finished chem syllabus.. hmmms

gosh. evrything is crammed into the june hols. haiz. quantum physics sucks and nuclear physics is ughhh much worst.

my brain will soon burst due to overheating...

okie enough whining. i shud jus get to work. gosh i need d drive to study. i have lost it along the way.haiz.. this is bad this is bad...

for those ppl goin UK, have fun dun forget me. hahaha. a pair of flats from the flea market wud be nicee.... oh if its too expensive u can always share..ehehehe

i feel so bad. but sometimes i think.. is it really my fault?

jus because i am the one having a boyfriend does not make me the one who should make the first move and talk to u.it doesnt help either that when i'm free u r not.

and now tat i am in star...i dun even meet u anymore.

it hurts to knoe that u didnt tell me about ur grandfather. but ohwells.i dun wanna make it a big deal. so i shalll keep it within the boundaries of my blog and my brain.

haiz... i'm depressed...

i guess i'm tat insignificant......

sorrie.

   bleah... wells i'm not supposed to be here blogging. but i jus cant help it.

sooo... the A divs season is here and its, i guess, haunting the hockers...they have been losing i heard. and obviously they cried, so tool and me were talking about how we wud be when its our turn. floorball A divs come later in the yr, during july period, so well... we were thinking bout how if we lost, wud we cry too? wud we this wud we tat... blah blah. and we decided to be crying partners. hahahha. plan alrdy ah?? ahahha.

and ya but u knoe wats the worst thing? losing is not as bad as having politics.

so i shall quote tool " everyone has their A divs alrdyy! we're still having politics!"

so funny la... hahahaha.

politics sucks la esp if you cant do anything about it. maybe i shud have still held tat exco position. but ugh. forget it. i still wouldnt have a say. like wat the hell rite? i think d ppl on top should listen to us more instead of jus carrying on like this.afterall..like leaders, they should take care of our welfare. rite?. so they should be opened to our suggestions.

and yes.. bbeing leaders also means tat u shud treat all equally. not friends diff or enemies diff, hhahaah.equal means equal.

and sometimes i jus dun understand.. why must ppl backstab each other? why must they be so hypocritical? why cant u jus talk it out? the world wud be a more peaceful place if ppl face their problems, talk it out and so on and so forth.

and i hate the teachers. ugh. ya i'm referring to those teachers la.. dun u get it?

my cuzzin i such a cool dude. so my siblings and me and abg is went to kallang stadium where the race was being held. we went there by train cos my father wanted to use d car. today was such a hot day ah. and my dearest abg is suggested we walk to the stadium cos it was supposedly near from the kallang mrt. but we walked to PA and realised we arent allowed to walk thru it and so we had to walk by the roads and den cross an oevrhead bridge and den when we finally reached kallang stadium, we thought "pheeww!! we r finallyy here!"

but then the race was supposed to be held at a carpark bt the carpark we passed thru was EMPTY! btu we still remained optimistic.

"oweelll... maybe its ard tat bend there....."

but but but... we had to walk ard the kallang stadium( do you realise how big it actually is??!!! IT is super huge!) haha. so we went ard the kallang stadium. and den my other cuz called to say tat we were so far away from the carpark. so we walked away from d kallang stadium and walked all the way to the other side(near the indoor stadium) of the area.. and we walked and walked and walked till we reach the area in an hour's time only to realise that it was to the right from where we first arrived. haiyoh... and by the time we reached there, all of us were sweating like we jus had some marathon.

and we arrived abt 10 min beefore abg rizal's race. he looked so cool wit his racing suit tho maybe he cud have asked me to choose the colour so tat he stands out from the rest. hahah.

fashion doctor?? me??? hahahahahhahahaha

anyways...

my cuzzin is such a cool dude!

and he got third for the race. yeah!! haha. so happy for him! keep it up.and aim for the stars??! hahahahhaha

MSU was crap. dunt u agree?? mediacorp should jus give up organising Miss Spore Universe. they should jus allocate their resources to other better causes.

okie i jus came back from floorball training jus now.and well. i skipped star. well yes. i'm a starlet. cos my block test results sucked. and i feel so down tat i dun think anyone can make me feel better. even if i say okie. i dun think i am really really okie. ugh. i dunno whether to be disappointed or happy or grateful.

firstly... i was just asked to not come for anymore floorball trainings.

haiz. do i even need anymore bad news??!!!

this is disappointing enough. but i know coach meant well. i know academics is my top priority.

oh wells. things happen for a reason. haiz

and oh yes. i hate her.. she is dumb orite? did she even play floorball. oh wells even of she did, her school obviously lost. if she thinks running 8 rounds, in the mornings, not inclusive of coach's intervals or PT and PE lessons are more important then practising ur ball handling, shooting skills... she must be out of her mind. haiyoh. i hate her. and i'd also like to take th eopportunity to thank her for a second of fame. there are so many others who dun even come and somehow u had to say "syahidah u also ah!" pls la k? at least i do come. not jus go MIA! and distance is not a valid excuse ah.like waddahell.its too bad u stay in pasir ris. but there is a straight bus from pasir ris to woodlands can??bleahz. and u claim u stand there counting the rounds.. like pls la. den how come d J1s cheated and u didnt realise. like wateva la eh

floorball floorball..

tutors becoming so irritating. esp one of them. never fail to spoil my day. dun vent ur anger at me la.and i was merely asking a question.if u think a duty roster will really work for the class den okie.. fine. den dun come after me if the class dun do their duties. cos i have done my part. yea?

and innova's polo tee is so ugly. okie maybe if our uniform is a darker color and not light brown, it'll look very nice. but errr...it looks so disgusting wt our uniform. and so i decided not to buy.

i hated d week. it was an unfruitful and super sucky one. and wat a way to reward me for going thru this stupid week. haiz.

everything happens for a reason... and d reason jolly well be a good one.